To be of use

by Marge Piercy

The people I love the best
jump into work head first
without dallying in the shallows
and swim off with sure strokes almost out of sight.
They seem to become natives of that element,
the black sleek heads of seals
bouncing like half-submerged balls.

I love people who harness themselves, an ox to a heavy cart,
who pull like water buffalo, with massive patience,
who strain in the mud and the muck to move things forward,
who do what has to be done, again and again.

I want to be with people who submerge
in the task, who go into the fields to harvest
and work in a row and pass the bags along,
who are not parlor generals and field deserters
but move in a common rhythm
when the food must come in or the fire be put out.

The work of the world is common as mud.
Botched, it smears the hands, crumbles to dust.
But the thing worth doing well done
has a shape that satisfies, clean and evident.
Greek amphoras for wine or oil,
Hopi vases that held corn, are put in museums
but you know they were made to be used.
The pitcher cries for water to carry
and a person for work that is real.


What Life Should Be

by Patricia A. Fleming

To learn while still a child
What this life is meant to be.
To know it goes beyond myself,
It’s so much more than me.

To overcome the tragedies,
To survive the hardest times.
To face those moments filled with pain,
And still, manage to be kind.

To fight for those who can’t themselves,
To always share my light.
With those who wander in the dark,
To love with all my might.

To still stand up with courage,
Though standing on my own.
To still get up and face each day,
Even when I feel alone.

To try to understand the ones
That no one cares to know.
And make them feel some value
When the world has let them go.

To be an anchor, strong and true,
That person loyal to the end.
To be a constant source of hope
To my family and my friends.

To live a life of decency,
To share my heart and soul.
To always say I’m sorry
When I’ve harmed both friend and foe.

To be proud of whom I’ve tried to be,
And this life I chose to live.
To make the most of every day
By giving all I have to give.

To me, that’s what this life should be,
To me, that’s what it’s for.
To take what God has given me
And make it so much more

To live a life that matters,
To be someone of great worth.
To love and be loved in return
And make my mark on Earth.


Patricia grew up in Trenton, New Jersey and was the middle child of three and had a middle-class upbringing. She worked as a psychiatric social worker for 36 years and after retiring, she began writing inspirational poems about life.

Programming is Writing is Programming

by Felienne Hermans and Marlies Aldewereld

Writing and programming are often seen as different. Writing a creative profession, programming a technical one. Below the surface however, there is one large similarity. Both writing and programming are, ultimately, the translation of a high-level idea into low level sentences or statements.


LeetCode - Algorithms - 2347. Best Poker Hand

Problem

2347. Best Poker Hand

Python

Counter

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from collections import Counter

class Solution:
def bestHand(self, ranks: List[int], suits: List[str]) -> str:
c = Counter(ranks).values()
if all(suits[0] == suit for suit in suits):
return "Flush"
elif max(c) > 2:
return "Three of a Kind"
elif max(c) == 2:
return "Pair"
else:
return "High Card"

Submission Detail

  • 98 / 98 test cases passed.
  • Runtime: 58 ms, faster than 42.46% of Python3 online submissions for Best Poker Hand.
  • Memory Usage: 13.8 MB, less than 97.47% of Python3 online submissions for Best Poker Hand.

Dictionary

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class Solution:
def bestHand(self, ranks: List[int], suits: List[str]) -> str:
d = dict()
for rank in ranks:
if rank not in d:
d[rank] = 1
else:
d[rank] += 1
c = d.values()
if all(suits[0] == suit for suit in suits):
return "Flush"
elif max(c) > 2:
return "Three of a Kind"
elif max(c) == 2:
return "Pair"
else:
return "High Card"

Submission Detail

  • 98 / 98 test cases passed.
  • Runtime: 71 ms, faster than 7.61% of Python3 online submissions for Best Poker Hand.
  • Memory Usage: 13.9 MB, less than 68.49% of Python3 online submissions for Best Poker Hand.

LeetCode - Algorithms - 2418. Sort the People

Problem

2418. Sort the People

Python

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import collections

class Solution:
def sortPeople(self, names: List[str], heights: List[int]) -> List[str]:
d = dict()
for i in range(len(names)):
d[heights[i]] = names[i]
od = collections.OrderedDict(sorted(d.items(), reverse=True))
result = []
for key in od:
result.append(od[key])
return result

Submission Detail

  • 68 / 68 test cases passed.
  • Runtime: 331 ms, faster than 15.16% of Python3 online submissions for Sort the People.
  • Memory Usage: 14.4 MB, less than 89.07% of Python3 online submissions for Sort the People.

LeetCode - Algorithms - 485. Max Consecutive Ones

Problem

485. Max Consecutive Ones

Python

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class Solution:
def findMaxConsecutiveOnes(self, nums: List[int]) -> int:
countArr = [0] * len(nums)
if nums[0] == 1:
countArr[0] = 1
else:
countArr[0] = 0
i = 1
while i < len(nums):
if nums[i] == 1:
if nums[i-1] == nums[i]:
countArr[i] = countArr[i-1] + 1
else:
countArr[i] = 1
else:
countArr[i] = 0
i += 1
return max(countArr)

Submission Detail

  • 42 / 42 test cases passed.
  • Runtime: 957 ms, faster than 14.08% of Python3 online submissions for Max Consecutive Ones.
  • Memory Usage: 14.6 MB, less than 6.75% of Python3 online submissions for Max Consecutive Ones.

DNA clues to our inner neanderthal - Svante Pääbo - TEDGlobal 2011 - Transcript

What I want to talk to you about is what we can learn from studying the genomes of living people and extinct humans. But before doing that, I just briefly want to remind you about what you already know: that our genomes, our genetic material, are stored in almost all cells in our bodies in chromosomes in the form of DNA, which is this famous double-helical molecule. And the genetic information is contained in the form of a sequence of four bases abbreviated with the letters A, T, C and G. And the information is there twice – one on each strand – which is important, because when new cells are formed, these strands come apart, new strands are synthesized with the old ones as templates in an almost perfect process.

But nothing, of course, in nature is totally perfect, so sometimes an error is made and a wrong letter is built in. And we can then see the result of such mutations when we compare DNA sequences among us here in the room, for example. If we compare my genome to the genome of you, approximately every 1,200, 1,300 letters will differ between us. And these mutations accumulate approximately as a function of time. So if we add in a chimpanzee here, we will see more differences. Approximately one letter in a hundred will differ from a chimpanzee.

And if you’re then interested in the history of a piece of DNA, or the whole genome, you can reconstruct the history of the DNA with those differences you observe. And generally we depict our ideas about this history in the form of trees like this. In this case, it’s very simple. The two human DNA sequences go back to a common ancestor quite recently. Farther back is there one shared with chimpanzees. And because these mutations happen approximately as a function of time, you can transform these differences to estimates of time, where the two humans, typically, will share a common ancestor about half a million years ago, and with the chimpanzees, it will be in the order of five million years ago.

So what has now happened in the last few years is that there are account technologies around that allow you to see many, many pieces of DNA very quickly. So we can now, in a matter of hours, determine a whole human genome. Each of us, of course, contains two human genomes – one from our mothers and one from our fathers. And they are around three billion such letters long. And we will find that the two genomes in me, or one genome of mine we want to use, will have about three million differences in the order of that. And what you can then also begin to do is to say, “How are these genetic differences distributed across the world?” And if you do that, you find a certain amount of genetic variation in Africa. And if you look outside Africa, you actually find less genetic variation. This is surprising, of course, because in the order of six to eight times fewer people live in Africa than outside Africa. Yet the people inside Africa have more genetic variation.

Moreover, almost all these genetic variants we see outside Africa have closely related DNA sequences that you find inside Africa. But if you look in Africa, there is a component of the genetic variation that has no close relatives outside. So a model to explain this is that a part of the African variation, but not all of it, has gone out and colonized the rest of the world. And together with the methods to date these genetic differences, this has led to the insight that modern humans – humans that are essentially indistinguishable from you and me – evolved in Africa, quite recently, between 100 and 200,000 years ago. And later, between 100 and 50,000 years ago or so, went out of Africa to colonize the rest of the world.

So what I often like to say is that, from a genomic perspective, we are all Africans. We either live inside Africa today, or in quite recent exile. Another consequence of this recent origin of modern humans is that genetic variants are generally distributed widely in the world, in many places, and they tend to vary as gradients, from a bird’s-eye perspective at least. And since there are many genetic variants, and they have different such gradients, this means that if we determine a DNA sequence – a genome from one individual – we can quite accurately estimate where that person comes from, provided that its parents or grandparents haven’t moved around too much.

But does this then mean, as many people tend to think, that there are huge genetic differences between groups of people – on different continents, for example? Well we can begin to ask those questions also. There is, for example, a project that’s underway to sequence a thousand individuals – their genomes – from different parts of the world. They’ve sequenced 185 Africans from two populations in Africa. They’ve sequenced approximately equally as many people in Europe and in China. And we can begin to say how much variance do we find, how many letters that vary in at least one of those individual sequences. And it’s a lot: 38 million variable positions.

But we can then ask: Are there any absolute differences between Africans and non-Africans? Perhaps the biggest difference most of us would imagine existed. And with absolute difference – and I mean a difference where people inside Africa at a certain position, where all individuals – 100 percent – have one letter, and everybody outside Africa has another letter. And the answer to that, among those millions of differences, is that there is not a single such position. This may be surprising. Maybe a single individual is misclassified or so. So we can relax the criterion a bit and say: How many positions do we find where 95 percent of people in Africa have one variant, 95 percent another variant, and the number of that is 12.

So this is very surprising. It means that when we look at people and see a person from Africa and a person from Europe or Asia, we cannot, for a single position in the genome with 100 percent accuracy, predict what the person would carry. And only for 12 positions can we hope to be 95 percent right. This may be surprising, because we can, of course, look at these people and quite easily say where they or their ancestors came from. So what this means now is that those traits we then look at and so readily see – facial features, skin color, hair structure – are not determined by single genes with big effects, but are determined by many different genetic variants that seem to vary in frequency between different parts of the world.

There is another thing with those traits that we so easily observe in each other that I think is worthwhile to consider, and that is that, in a very literal sense, they’re really on the surface of our bodies. They are what we just said – facial features, hair structure, skin color. There are also a number of features that vary between continents like that that have to do with how we metabolize food that we ingest, or that have to do with how our immune systems deal with microbes that try to invade our bodies. But so those are all parts of our bodies where we very directly interact with our environment, in a direct confrontation, if you like. It’s easy to imagine how particularly those parts of our bodies were quickly influenced by selection from the environment and shifted frequencies of genes that are involved in them. But if we look on other parts of our bodies where we don’t directly interact with the environment – our kidneys, our livers, our hearts – there is no way to say, by just looking at these organs, where in the world they would come from.

So there’s another interesting thing that comes from this realization that humans have a recent common origin in Africa, and that is that when those humans emerged around 100,000 years ago or so, they were not alone on the planet. There were other forms of humans around, most famously perhaps, Neanderthals – these robust forms of humans, compared to the left here with a modern human skeleton on the right – that existed in Western Asia and Europe since several hundreds of thousands of years. So an interesting question is, what happened when we met? What happened to the Neanderthals?

And to begin to answer such questions, my research group – since over 25 years now – works on methods to extract DNA from remains of Neanderthals and extinct animals that are tens of thousands of years old. So this involves a lot of technical issues in how you extract the DNA, how you convert it to a form you can sequence. You have to work very carefully to avoid contamination of experiments with DNA from yourself. And this then, in conjunction with these methods that allow very many DNA molecules to be sequenced very rapidly, allowed us last year to present the first version of the Neanderthal genome, so that any one of you can now look on the Internet, on the Neanderthal genome, or at least on the 55 percent of it that we’ve been able to reconstruct so far. And you can begin to compare it to the genomes of people who live today.

And one question that you may then want to ask is, what happened when we met? Did we mix or not? And the way to ask that question is to look at the Neanderthal that comes from Southern Europe and compare it to genomes of people who live today. So we then look to do this with pairs of individuals, starting with two Africans, looking at the two African genomes, finding places where they differ from each other, and in each case ask: What is a Neanderthal like? Does it match one African or the other African? We would expect there to be no difference, because Neanderthals were never in Africa. They should be equal, have no reason to be closer to one African than another African. And that’s indeed the case. Statistically speaking, there is no difference in how often the Neanderthal matches one African or the other. But this is different if we now look at the European individual and an African. Then, significantly more often, does a Neanderthal match the European rather than the African. The same is true if we look at a Chinese individual versus an African, the Neanderthal will match the Chinese individual more often. This may also be surprising because the Neanderthals were never in China.

So the model we’ve proposed to explain this is that when modern humans came out of Africa sometime after 100,000 years ago, they met Neanderthals. Presumably, they did so first in the Middle East, where there were Neanderthals living. If they then mixed with each other there, then those modern humans that became the ancestors of everyone outside Africa carried with them this Neanderthal component in their genome to the rest of the world. So that today, the people living outside Africa have about two and a half percent of their DNA from Neanderthals.

So having now a Neanderthal genome on hand as a reference point and having the technologies to look at ancient remains and extract the DNA, we can begin to apply them elsewhere in the world. And the first place we’ve done that is in Southern Siberia in the Altai Mountains at a place called Denisova, a cave site in this mountain here, where archeologists in 2008 found a tiny little piece of bone – this is a copy of it – that they realized came from the last phalanx of a little finger of a pinky of a human. And it was well enough preserved so we could determine the DNA from this individual, even to a greater extent than for the Neanderthals actually, and start relating it to the Neanderthal genome and to people today. And we found that this individual shared a common origin for his DNA sequences with Neanderthals around 640,000 years ago. And further back, 800,000 years ago is there a common origin with present day humans.

So this individual comes from a population that shares an origin with Neanderthals, but far back and then have a long independent history. We call this group of humans, that we then described for the first time from this tiny, tiny little piece of bone, the Denisovans, after this place where they were first described. So we can then ask for Denisovans the same things as for the Neanderthals: Did they mix with ancestors of present day people? If we ask that question, and compare the Denisovan genome to people around the world, we surprisingly find no evidence of Denisovan DNA in any people living even close to Siberia today. But we do find it in Papua New Guinea and in other islands in Melanesia and the Pacific. So this presumably means that these Denisovans had been more widespread in the past, since we don’t think that the ancestors of Melanesians were ever in Siberia.

So from studying these genomes of extinct humans, we’re beginning to arrive at a picture of what the world looked like when modern humans started coming out of Africa. In the West, there were Neanderthals; in the East, there were Denisovans – maybe other forms of humans too that we’ve not yet described. We don’t know quite where the borders between these people were, but we know that in Southern Siberia, there were both Neanderthals and Denisovans at least at some time in the past. Then modern humans emerged somewhere in Africa, came out of Africa, presumably in the Middle East. They meet Neanderthals, mix with them, continue to spread over the world, and somewhere in Southeast Asia, they meet Denisovans and mix with them and continue on out into the Pacific. And then these earlier forms of humans disappear, but they live on a little bit today in some of us – in that people outside of Africa have two and a half percent of their DNA from Neanderthals, and people in Melanesia actually have an additional five percent approximately from the Denisovans.

Does this then mean that there is after all some absolute difference between people outside Africa and inside Africa in that people outside Africa have this old component in their genome from these extinct forms of humans, whereas Africans do not? Well I don’t think that is the case. Presumably, modern humans emerged somewhere in Africa. They spread across Africa also, of course, and there were older, earlier forms of humans there. And since we mixed elsewhere, I’m pretty sure that one day, when we will perhaps have a genome of also these earlier forms in Africa, we will find that they have also mixed with early modern humans in Africa.

So to sum up, what have we learned from studying genomes of present day humans and extinct humans? We learn perhaps many things, but one thing that I find sort of important to mention is that I think the lesson is that we have always mixed. We mixed with these earlier forms of humans, wherever we met them, and we mixed with each other ever since.

Thank you for your attention.


What the sugar coating on your cells is trying to tell you - Carolyn Bertozzi - TEDxStanford - Transcript

This is a talk about sugar and cancer. I became interested in sugar when I was in college. Not this kind of sugar. It was the sugar that our biology professors taught us about in the context of the coating of your cells. Maybe you didn’t know that your cells are coated with sugar. And I didn’t know that, either, until I took these courses in college, but back then – and this was in, let’s just call it the 1980s – people didn’t know much about why our cells are coated with sugar. And when I dug through my notes, what I noticed I had written down is that the sugar coating on our cells is like the sugar coating on a peanut M and M. And people thought the sugar coating on our cells was like a protective coating that somehow made our cells stronger or tougher.

But we now know, many decades later, that it’s much more complicated than that, and that the sugars on our cells are actually very complex. And if you could shrink yourself down to a little miniature airplane and fly right along the surface of your cells, it might look something like this – with geographical features. And now, the complex sugars are these trees and bushes – weeping willows that are swaying in the wind and moving with the waves. And when I started thinking about all these complex sugars that are like this foliage on our cells, it became one of the most interesting problems that I encountered as a biologist and also as a chemist. And so now we tend to think about the sugars that are populating the surface of our cells as a language. They have a lot of information stored in their complex structures.

But what are they trying to tell us? I can tell you that we do know some information that comes from these sugars, and it’s turned out already to be incredibly important in the world of medicine.

For example, one thing your sugars are telling us is your blood type. So your blood cells, your red blood cells, are coated with sugars, and the chemical structures of those sugars determine your blood type. So for example, I know that I am blood type O. How many people are also blood type O? Put your hands up. It’s a pretty common one, so when so few hands go up, either you’re not paying attention or you don’t know your blood type, and both of those are bad.

But for those of you who share the blood type O with me, what this means is that we have this chemical structure on the surface of our blood cells: three simple sugars linked together to make a more complex sugar. And that, by definition, is blood type O.

Now, how many people are blood type A? Right here. That means you have an enzyme in your cells that adds one more building block, that red sugar, to build a more complex structure. And how many people are blood type B? Quite a few. You have a slightly different enzyme than the A people, so you build a slightly different structure, and those of you that are AB have the enzyme from your mother, the other enzyme from your father, and now you make both of these structures in roughly equal proportions. And when this was figured out, which is now back in the previous century, this enabled one of the most important medical procedures in the world, which, of course, is the blood transfusion. And by knowing what your blood type is, we can make sure, if you ever need a transfusion, that your donor has the same blood type, so that your body doesn’t see foreign sugars, which it wouldn’t like and would certainly reject.

What else are the sugars on the surface of your cells trying to tell us? Well, those sugars might be telling us that you have cancer. So a few decades ago, correlations began to emerge from the analysis of tumor tissue. And the typical scenario is a patient would have a tumor detected, and the tissue would be removed in a biopsy procedure and then sent down to a pathology lab where that tissue would be analyzed to look for chemical changes that might inform the oncologist about the best course of treatment. And what was discovered from studies like that is that the sugars have changed when the cell transforms from being healthy to being sick. And those correlations have come up again and again and again. But a big question in the field has been: Why? Why do cancers have different sugars? What’s the importance of that? Why does it happen, and what can we do about it if it does turn out to be related to the disease process?

So, one of the changes that we study is an increase in the density of a particular sugar that’s called sialic acid. And I think this is going to be one of the most important sugars of our times, so I would encourage everybody to get familiar with this word. Sialic acid is not the kind of sugar that we eat. Those are different sugars. This is a kind of sugar that is actually found at certain levels on all of the cells in your body. It’s actually quite common on your cells. But for some reason, cancer cells, at least in a successful, progressive disease, tend to have more sialic acid than a normal, healthy cell would have. And why? What does that mean? Well, what we’ve learned is that it has to do with your immune system.

So let me tell you a little bit about the importance of your immune system in cancer. And this is something that’s, I think, in the news a lot these days. You know, people are starting to become familiar with the term “cancer immune therapy.” And some of you might even know people who are benefiting from these very new ways of treating cancer. What we now know is that your immune cells, which are the white blood cells coursing through your bloodstream, protect you on a daily basis from things gone bad – including cancer. And so in this picture, those little green balls are your immune cells, and that big pink cell is a cancer cell. And these immune cells go around and taste all the cells in your body. That’s their job. And most of the time, the cells taste OK.

But once in a while, a cell might taste bad. Hopefully, that’s the cancer cell, and when those immune cells get the bad taste, they launch an all-out strike and kill those cells. So we know that. We also know that if you can potentiate that tasting, if you can encourage those immune cells to actually take a big old bite out of a cancer cell, you get a better job protecting yourself from cancer every day and maybe even curing a cancer. And there are now a couple of drugs out there in the market that are used to treat cancer patients that act exactly by this process. They activate the immune system so that the immune system can be more vigorous in protecting us from cancer.

In fact, one of those drugs may well have spared President Jimmy Carter’s life. Do you remember, President Carter had malignant melanoma that had metastasized to his brain, and that diagnosis is one that is usually accompanied by numbers like “months to live.” But he was treated with one of these new immune-stimulating drugs, and now his melanoma appears to be in remission, which is remarkable, considering the situation only a few years ago. In fact, it’s so remarkable that provocative statements like this one: “Cancer is having a penicillin moment,” people are saying, with these new immune therapy drugs. I mean, that’s an incredibly bold thing to say about a disease which we’ve been fighting for a long time and mostly losing the battle with. So this is very exciting.

Now what does this have to do with sugars? Well, I’ll tell you what we’ve learned. When an immune cell snuggles up against a cancer cell to take a taste, it’s looking for signs of disease, and if it finds those signs, the cell gets activated and it launches a missile strike and kills the cell. But if that cancer cell has a dense forest of that sugar, sialic acid, well, it starts to taste pretty good. And there’s a protein on immune cells that grabs the sialic acid, and if that protein gets held at that synapse between the immune cell and the cancer cell, it puts that immune cell to sleep. The sialic acids are telling the immune cell, “Hey, this cell’s all right. Nothing to see here, move along. Look somewhere else.” So in other words, as long as our cells are wearing a thick coat of sialic acid, they look fabulous, right? It’s amazing. And what if you could strip off that coat and take that sugar away? Well, your immune system might be able to see that cancer cell for what it really is: something that needs to be destroyed.

And so this is what we’re doing in my lab. We’re developing new medicines that are basically cell-surface lawnmowers – molecules that go down to the surface of these cancer cells and just cut off those sialic acids, so that the immune system can reach its full potential in eliminating those cancer cells from our body.

So in closing, let me just remind you again: your cells are coated with sugars. The sugars are telling cells around that cell whether the cell is good or bad. And that’s important, because our immune system needs to leave the good cells alone. Otherwise, we’d have autoimmune diseases. But once in a while, cancers get the ability to express these new sugars. And now that we understand how those sugars mesmerize the immune system, we can come up with new medicines to wake up those immune cells, tell them, “Ignore the sugars, eat the cell and have a delicious snack, on cancer.”

Thank you.


McDonalds Is Impossible

by Chelsea Martin

Eating food from McDonald’s is mathematically impossible.
Because before you can eat it, you have to order it.
And before you can order it, you have to decide what you want.
And before you can decide what you want, you have to read the menu.
And before you can read the menu, you have to be in front of the menu.
And before you can be in front of the menu, you have to wait in line.
And before you can wait in line, you have to drive to the restaurant.
And before you can drive to the restaurant, you have to get in your car.
And before you can get in your car, you have to put clothes on.
And before you can put clothes on, you have to get out of bed.
And before you can get out of bed, you have to stop being so depressed.
And before you can stop being so depressed, you have to understand what depression is.
And before you can understand what depression is, you have to think clearly.
And before you can think clearly, you have to turn off the TV.
And before you can turn off the TV, you have to free your hands.
And before you can free your hands, you have to stop masturbating.
And before you can stop masturbating, you have to get off.
And before you can get off, you have to imagine someone you really like with his pants off, encouraging you to explore his enlarged genitalia.
And before you can imagine someone you really like with his pants off encouraging you to explore his enlarged genitalia, you have to imagine that person stroking your neck.
And before you can imagine that person stroking your neck, you have to imagine that person walking up to you looking determined.
And before you can imagine that person walking up to you looking determined, you have to choose who that person is.
And before you can choose who that person is, you have to like someone.
And before you can like someone, you have to interact with someone.
And before you can interact with someone, you have to introduce yourself.
And before you can introduce yourself, you have to be in a social situation.
And before you can be in a social situation, you have to be invited to something somehow.
And before you can be invited to something somehow, you have to receive a telephone call from a friend.
And before you can receive a telephone call from a friend, you have to make a reputation for yourself as being sort of fun.
And before you can make a reputation for yourself as being sort of fun, you have to be noticeably fun on several different occasions.
And before you can be noticeably fun on several different occasions, you have to be fun once in the presence of two or more people.
And before you can be fun once in the presence of two or more people, you have to be drunk.
And before you can be drunk, you have to buy alcohol.
And before you can buy alcohol, you have to want your psychological state to be altered.
And before you can want your psychological state to be altered, you have to recognize that your current psychological state is unsatisfactory.
And before you can recognize that your current psychological state is unsatisfactory, you have to grow tired of your lifestyle.
And before you can grow tired of your lifestyle, you have to repeat the same patterns over and over endlessly.
And before you can repeat the same patterns over and over endlessly, you have to lose a lot of your creativity.
And before you can lose a lot of your creativity, you have to stop reading books.
And before you can stop reading books, you have to think that you would benefit from reading less frequently.
And before you can think that you would benefit from reading less frequently, you have to be discouraged by the written word.
And before you can be discouraged by the written word, you have to read something that reinforces your insecurities.
And before you can read something that reinforces your insecurities, you have to have insecurities.
And before you can have insecurities, you have to be awake for part of the day.
And before you can be awake for part of the day, you have to feel motivation to wake up.
And before you can feel motivation to wake up, you have to dream of perfectly synchronized conversations with people you desire to talk to.
And before you can dream of perfectly synchronized conversations with people you desire to talk to, you have to have a general idea of what a perfectly synchronized conversation is.
And before you can have a general idea of what a perfectly synchronized conversation is, you have to watch a lot of movies in which people successfully talk to each other.
And before you can watch a lot of movies in which people successfully talk to each other, you have to have an interest in other people.
And before you can have an interest in other people, you have to have some way of benefiting from other people.
And before you can have some way of benefiting from other people, you have to have goals.
And before you can have goals, you have to want power.
And before you can want power, you have to feel greed.
And before you can feel greed, you have to feel more deserving than others.
And before you can feel more deserving than others, you have to feel a general disgust with the human population.
And before you can feel a general disgust with the human population, you have to be emotionally wounded.
And before you can be emotionally wounded, you have to be treated badly by someone you think you care about while in a naive, vulnerable state.
And before you can be treated badly by someone you think you care about while in a naive, vulnerable state, you have to feel inferior to that person.
And before you can feel inferior to that person, you have to watch him laughing and walking towards his drum kit with his shirt off and the sun all over him.
And before you can watch him laughing and walking towards his drum kit with his shirt off and the sun all over him, you have to go to one of his outdoor shows.
And before you can go to one of his outdoor shows, you have to pretend to know something about music.
And before you can pretend to know something about music, you have to feel embarrassed about your real interests.
And before you can feel embarrassed about your real interests, you have to realize that your interests are different from other people’s interests.
And before you can realize that your interests are different from other people’s interests, you have to be regularly misunderstood.
And before you can be regularly misunderstood, you have to be almost completely socially debilitated.
And before you can be almost completely socially debilitated, you have to be an outcast.
And before you can be an outcast, you have to be rejected by your entire group of friends.
And before you can be rejected by your entire group of friends, you have to be suffocatingly loyal to your friends.
And before you can be suffocatingly loyal to your friends, you have to be afraid of loss.
And before you can be afraid of loss, you have to lose something of value.
And before you can lose something of value, you have to realize that that thing will never change.
And before you can realize that that thing will never change, you have to have the same conversation with your grandmother forty or fifty times.
And before you can have the same conversation with your grandmother forty or fifty times, you have to have a desire to talk to her and form a meaningful relationship.
And before you can have a desire to talk to her and form a meaningful relationship, you have to love her.
And before you can love her, you have to notice the great tolerance she has for you.
And before you can notice the great tolerance she has for you, you have to break one of her favorite china teacups that her mother gave her and forget to apologize.
And before you can break one of her favorite china teacups that her mother gave her and forget to apologize, you have to insist on using the teacups for your imaginary tea party. And before you can insist on using the teacups for your imaginary tea party, you have to cultivate your imagination.
And before you can cultivate your imagination, you have to spend a lot of time alone.
And before you can spend a lot of time alone, you have to find ways to sneak away from your siblings.
And before you can find ways to sneak away from your siblings, you have to have siblings.
And before you can have siblings, you have to underwhelm your parents.
And before you can underwhelm your parents, you have to be quiet, polite and unnoticeable.
And before you can be quiet, polite and unnoticeable, you have to understand that it is possible to disappoint your parents.
And before you can understand that it is possible to disappoint your parents, you have to be harshly reprimanded.
And before you can be harshly reprimanded, you have to sing loudly at an inappropriate moment.
And before you can sing loudly at an inappropriate moment, you have to be happy.
And before you can be happy, you have to be able to recognize happiness.
And before you can be able to recognize happiness, you have to know distress.
And before you can know distress, you have to be watched by an insufficient babysitter for one week.
And before you can be watched by an insufficient babysitter for one week, you have to vomit on the other, more pleasant babysitter.
And before you can vomit on the other, more pleasant babysitter, you have to be sick.
And before you can be sick, you have to eat something you’re allergic to.
And before you can eat something you’re allergic to, you have to have allergies.
And before you can have allergies, you have to be born.
And before you can be born, you have to be conceived.
And before you can be conceived, your parents have to copulate.
And before your parents can copulate, they have to be attracted to one another.
And before they can be attracted to one another, they have to have common interests.
And before they can have common interests, they have to talk to each other.
And before they can talk to each other, they have to meet.
And before they can meet, they have to have in-school suspension on the same day.
And before they can have in-school suspension on the same day, they have to get caught sneaking off campus separately.
And before they can get caught sneaking off campus separately, they have to think of somewhere to go.
And before they can think of somewhere to go, they have to be familiar with McDonald’s.
And before they can be familiar with McDonald’s, they have to eat food from McDonald’s.
And eating food from McDonald’s is mathematically impossible.


McDonalds Is Impossible